


Touch Me, I Dare You

by Nova_Cain



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Butt-Plugs, Hubby Shiro, M/M, Matt is a gift to this earth you cannot tell me otherwise, Matt is fav hubby, adventures in the work place, fuck you muse - Freeform, he gets a butt-plug, i dunno have fun guys, i have placed it here, klance, klance coworkers au, klance office au, look at how depraved we've become, my duties fulfilled, my offering is accepted, we all need a pick-me up, what demon possessed me to write this, why did I actually write this, written for reasons, you all get butt-plugs, you get a butt-plug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:11:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nova_Cain/pseuds/Nova_Cain
Summary: Keith and Lance have been coworkers for a couple of years now, and their reputations for pulling pranks and daring each other to do ridiculous things has spread all through the building.This next dare might be one they'll want to keep strictly between themselves, though...





	1. Escalating in the Elevator. Boy am I Clever.

**Author's Note:**

> Created a tumblr dedicated to my works, notes/rants, and updates, check it out if you're interested.
> 
> http://ruledeargremlinchild.tumblr.com/
> 
> If you have trouble accessing it please let me know, I'm still trying to figure out what's going on myself.

Part I

* * *

– V –

“It’s my turn, Kogane.” Lance’s voice was low and sweet, his lips curled into a smile. When he had noticed Keith leaving the office on a quick errand he had followed him, and now he had him cornered in the elevator. It was just the two of them…

Lance was standing close to his coworker as he leaned against the elevator railing, his chest almost touching Keith’s side. He watched as Keith shuffled through the papers under the pretense of ignoring him. Lance wasn’t worried though; this had been going on long enough between them that he knew when he had Keith’s attention. Right now, Lance could tell by the way Keith’s lips had twitched for only a moment at his words.

Lance’s left hand was resting on the railing, and he let it slide forward until it was right behind Keith’s back. He grinned as Keith noticed the space between them steadily disappearing and finally looked up at him. Keith wore the same business-oriented neutral expression that he gave to everyone while he was in the workplace, but his eyes were glittering with a mischief that Lance was always eager to see.

“Your turn to what, McClain, use the fax machine?” Keith asked, letting his question admit that he really had been listening just so he could get a jab in at his taller coworker.

Typical.

Lance chuckled and leaned closer. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, as if a secret he couldn’t help sharing was already slipping out and he was reveling in the taste of it.

“It’s my turn,” he paused, eyes darting to Keith’s lips before rising again. “To give you a dare.”

Keith let his neutral expression drop in favor of feigning some great disappointment. The elevator doors gave a cheery _ding_ as they opened, and Keith slapped the papers against Lance’s chest as he gently pushed him out of the way of his exit.

“Oh.” Keith’s voice was a monotone that he had crafted a long time ago _just_ to use on Lance. “I thought you were going to say something stimulating for once.”

Lance frowned and followed close behind him.

“My dares are always stimulating!” Lance exclaimed, throwing his hands up for emphasis. Keith stopped in his tracks and fixed the Cuban with a dead stare.

“Daring me to act like our boss’s husband for a week doesn’t constitute ‘stimulating,’” Keith said before turning on his heel and walking into a lounge. Lance stayed where he was for a moment, smiling to himself as he remembered Keith’s antics. When he realized Keith was gone, he darted through the lounge doorway, turning the heads of other employees who were on break as he hurried after the shorter man. Keith was walking straight through the room, taking a shortcut to one of the more efficient tech rooms that always had a working copier.

“Oh please, you were totally into it!” Lance ignored the rising eyebrows around the room, which only rose higher as he kept close to Keith’s heels. Luckily Keith was too focused on organizing the papers in his hands while juggling a conversation with Lance to notice any of the odd stares. To his credit, Keith always managed to keep a firm grip on whatever thread of discussion he had with his taller coworker.

“Because Shiro’s reactions were funny as hell and Matt was an avid supporter,” Keith explained. Lance chuckled at the mention of Shiro’s actual husband, who Lance considered to be his personal Patron Saint of Pranksters. As Keith turned his head to talk directly to his companion, Lance was mesmerized by the way his dark hair swayed and draped around his neck while some strands skirted clear of Keith’s sparkling eyes.

“He got a kick out of it, demanded I text him updates every five minutes,” Keith said with a devious grin.

Lance smiled back at him. He didn’t feel the need to say anything to that. He just wanted watch Keith smile for what few moments he could.

Keith realized Lance wasn’t going to say anything else, so he quickly turned back around, leaving Lance to wonder if Keith’s cheeks had been that pink before.

“You better think of something good, McClain,” Keith muttered. “I’m getting bored.” Keith passed through a few more doors in quick succession before finally reaching the copier he was looking for, which was mercifully unoccupied. Lance sat down on the empty counter next to it, holding out his hands for the papers. Keith handed them to him without hesitation as he focused on changing whatever settings were necessary. Lance had accompanied Keith on so many of his errands that Keith’s habits were now just second nature, as if Keith was an extended part of Lance himself. Once the copier was ready, Lance handed paper after paper to his coworker, and then took each one back and returned them to the order Keith liked. They worked together in comfortable silence, until Keith handed the last copied paper to his counter-helper. After Lance fastened them together with a binder clip he held them out to Keith, letting a single word drop from his lips as he placed them in Keith’s hands:

            “Asshole.”

Keith let his lips curl into the tiniest smile, but he turned away quickly so Lance wouldn’t see tangible proof of his fondness for him. He was only mildly surprised Lance hadn’t said “mullet” this time.

“Nope. Try using more imagination,” Keith said, turning the conversation from Lance’s strange pet names back to the dare situation. Keith headed for a doorway different from the one they entered through. This one led to another shortcut, which would take them to other elevator that would open up right by Shiro’s offices.

Lance followed Keith in complete silence. Keith wasn’t concerned until they stepped into the elevator and he saw Lance’s dirty smile when he turned around. Lance quickly pressed the buttons for their floor and to close the doors. Keith could feel his gut slowly sink to his feet as he realized Lance wasn’t going to say a word until they had some privacy. Then he thought of the hidden cameras in the corners of the elevator and swallowed a laugh. Well. Privacy was a relative term here.

But Lance’s patience meant his idea was either a) utterly brilliant and he knew Keith would jump at the chance to do it, or b) it was something Keith would never allow himself to do. Which meant Keith would, _finally_ , forfeit.

The thought of losing this three-year-long competition of sorts made Keith’s gut burn. No, that wasn’t an option. Whatever dare Lance was planning, Keith would accept and complete.

_Besides, I’ll have my turn to get at Lance afterwards._

The doors finally closed, and Lance walked up to Keith until their chests were touching. He leaned down to speak directly into Keith’s ear, and the shorter man could feel Lance’s fucking grin through his lowered voice as it pressed against his skin.

“Well that’s just it. My newest idea. You want something challenging? Fine. I dare you to wear a butt-plug in your asshole during the company social this Friday. _Asshole._ ”

Keith could feel his chest begin to implode as he slowly choked on air, because _holy shit holy shit holy shit that’s explicitly sexual holy shit. Shiiiiiiiiit._ He went rigid against Lance, his hands tightening around the stack of papers he was holding. Other than his damned heart, Keith was utterly frozen in shock. Over the years he had learned to expect a lot of things from Lance, but this just hadn’t been one of them.

Lance stepped back just enough so he could see the look on Keith’s face… and he wasn’t entirely disappointed. Keith’s expression was completely blank, wiped clean of any visual emotion due to surprise, which Lance considered more telling than anything else. It wasn’t often that he managed to render Keith expressionless _and_ speechless. The sound of Lance’s giggling drew Keith’s eyes upwards, and he finally snapped back to reality. Hoping to every deity that his voice wouldn’t crack, Keith straightened and looked Lance right in the eyes.

“Alright.”

Lance looked completely floored until Keith’s almost nonchalant tone registered with him, and then his eyes narrowed. Keith resisted the urge to laugh in Lance’s face – which was still unreasonably close to his own – when his suspicions were confirmed by the Cuban’s expression: Lance definitely hadn’t been expecting Keith to accept the dare.

_Now I just need to stay calm…he doesn’t know that I’m actually into taking it up the ass, so it’s my advantage. It’ll be an easy win for me._

“Well, an asshole _is_ where a butt-plug is meant to go, McClain,” Keith said, letting a good helping of snark coat his words. The elevator’s sharp _ding_ brought the attention of both of the men to the opening doors, but before Keith could move to leave, Lance’s hand slammed against a random button. The doors quickly closed again, and the elevator began taking them to different floor.

“Great. Now we’re visiting human resources,” Keith muttered darkly as he eyed the now-glowing button.

Lance moved so he was back in Keith’s field of vision and waited until Keith looked at him before speaking again.

“A vibrating one.” The seriousness in Lance’s voice sent chills up and down Keith’s spine, and a warmth spread low in his belly at the thought of having a vibrating butt-plug shoved snuggly up his ass as he walked around a large room, greeting his higher-ups and mingling with paying customers…

_Fuck._

“Hmm,” Keith raised an eyebrow, pretending to contemplate the idea as he actually tried to erase it from his mind. No use popping a boner right now, dammit. “Okay.”

Lance’s expression seemed to grow more serious and dark with every assent that Keith gave him, and Keith almost let himself think that Lance’s voice was getting huskier as well. Lance’s lips parted again, and Keith braced himself for what he knew would be another test of his limits.

“And I’ll be controlling it.”

_Holy FUCK LANCE._

The elevator doors opened again and Keith frantically surged forward, jabbing at Shiros’ floor’s button as Lance practically held him upright. When the elevator was finally on the move again, Keith stepped away from Lance until his back was against the wall, and his hands worked to smooth out the wrinkles the papers had gotten during his break in composure. Lance had been intently watching Keith’s every movement all the while.

“Now _that_ is interesting,” Keith bit out. “Alright, dare accepted.”

Keith looked above Lance’s head to see they had finally reached the right floor and he stepped towards the doors, then darted out the moment there was enough space between them. Lance walked slowly after him, his gaze thoughtful.

Keith stepped into Shiro’s office just long enough to drop the stack on their boss’s desk, and Lance waited for him in the hallway. When Keith returned they headed back in the direction of their own offices. Lance couldn’t help but notice how Keith was walking faster than usual, but it wasn’t difficult to keep up with him. When they reached Keith’s office, he finally looked back up at Lance with a strange little smile.

“Have fun shopping.” Keith started to turn the door handle, but stopped at the sight of Lance’s questioning look.

“What do you mean?” Lance asked.

Keith’s smile spread into a full grin, and he chuckled evilly.

“It’s your dare, it comes out of your wallet. Part of our agreement, remember?” Keith stepped into the safety of his office and gave Lance a final wave before closing the door behind him.

– V –


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post this next chapter as a whole experience with Lance's dare, but I lost patience when I realized I already hit over 3,000 words with the bits and pieces that I do have finished.
> 
> Plus a lovely commenter just finalized the decision for me.
> 
> So consider this Part 2.1 :)

Part II.I

* * *

 

– V –

  

            Lance somehow managed to return to his office without stumbling over his feet. He could feel adrenaline surging through his veins as his conversation with Keith replayed in his mind, and it was only when he sat down at his desk that he realized his hands were trembling. He scooted his chair towards the door and kicked it closed, eager to have some sliver of privacy for the freak-out session he could feel coming on. Lance stared at the ceiling as he spun around. He was waiting for the undercurrent of panic to finally rise and consume him.

            The flood of adrenaline didn’t grow or ebb, and he eventually gave up waiting for a break in the tide.

            He let out a frustrated sigh. _Not going to break in the office, huh? That’s good, I guess._ He sat up and glared at the files on his desk that were waiting for his attention. That’s right, personal problems and emotional grave digging aside, he still had work to do.

            A notification ping sounded from his computer, making his heart rate spike. If it was Keith, he’d skip over a panic attack and go straight to dead-on-the-floor. A quick glance at the screen revealed an email notification from Shiro, something related to charts and their 2 o’clock meeting. Lance pushed Keith out of his mind and forced himself to focus, and his pulse gradually slowing as he read through the email.

            Looked like any panicking would have to wait till _after_ quitting time.

 

~oOo~

 

            The moment the door to Lance’s apartment closed behind him that evening, he screamed.

            He had successfully managed to make it through the work day, and even went so far as to avoid any more private interactions with Keith. So what if he stubbornly avoided the other man’s gaze as he presented at their meeting with Shiro? It was necessary for the preservation of his sanity.

            The same sanity that he could feel crumbling as he remembered the whole butt-plug dare scenario he got himself into. Lance flushed scarlet, grabbed a pillow from the sofa, and proceeded to scream even louder into its fluffy depths.

            The screaming was followed by some broken laughter, and then a frantic texting session with Matt.

Matt, his prankster idol and the only person (that he knew of) who had knowledge _and_ experience with things like butt-plugs. Matt later called to recommended some “fucking mind blowing” dildos that Lance should look into when he got the chance. Lance didn’t know if he had ever hung up the phone so fast in his life.

            When Lance finally sat down with his laptop to search for one – a butt-plug, _not_ a mind-blowing dildo – so he could get the purchase over with, he could feel how red his ears must be. But at least he had a smile on his face and could breathe easily again. Lance wasn’t even sure why he was smiling. Maybe it had something to do with his conversation with Matt…

 

~oOo~

 

_Approximately ten minutes and twelve skipped heart beats ago:_

 

 **L:** I need your help.

 

            Lance didn’t even get a chance to close the screen and contemplate his life choices before Matt replied (that eager sadistic bastard).

 

            **MS:** _Honestly I’m impressed you’ve lasted till today. What a glorious Tuesday evening it_ _is._

 **MS:** _Assistance with another dare, or did you need my heavenly advice about a life_ _crisis?_

 

 **L:** … well if those are the only two options…

 

            **MH:** _It’s either/or with deities, my friend._

 

            **L:** Fine. We’ll classify this one under “life crisis.”

 

            **MH:** _FANTASTIC. Hit me._

**L:** Right now I’m REALLY wishing I could. I need help buying a toy.

 

            **MH:** _??? I didn’t know you got a puppy ;)_

 

            **L:** I didn’t.

 

            **MH:** _oh my god_

 

            **L:** please don’t

 

            **MH:** _OH MY GOD_

 

 **L:** I can explain—

 

            Lance couldn’t finish his reply before another message came through.

 

            **MH:** _YOU ADOPTED A CHILD_

 

            **L:** wtf?? Hell no

 

            **MH:** _You monster. How unloving. Hand over the custody to Shiro and I, you don’t_ _deserve him/her/them._

 

            **L:** Matt omfg.

 

            **MH:** _Lol_

            **MH:** _Seriously though. What kind of sex toys were you thinking about?_

 

            **L:** oh god help me

 

            **MH:** _That’s my goal, bro. Now help me help you._

 

            **L:** First of all, it’s just the one.

            **L:** And it’s a butt-plug.

 

            **MH:** _Hmm…_

            **MH:** _You got anything specific in mind?_

 

            **L:** A vibrating one

 

            **MH:** _Ooo._

 

            **L:** That can be controlled via phone app, preferably? They have those, right?

 

            **MH:** _OOOOO IT GOT BETTER_

 

            **L:** Well hell yeah, it’s me.

 

            **MH:** _Lol sure. Yeah, they definitely have those. I’m guessing you need help finding_ _where to get one?_

**L:** Exactly

 

            **MH:** _You want to get it in person or online?_

            **L:** For the love of my sanity… online please.

 

            **MH:** _Perfect. I know a few places, I’ll send you links._

            **MH:** _I hope you don’t mind me asking…._

**L:** I know you. You’ll ask either way. It’s cool though  <3 go ahead.

 

            **MH:** _Sooooo… is this for yourself… or for someone special? ;)_

 

            **L:** I wouldn’t say it’s “someone special”…

 

 **MH:** _Dude. They’re special enough to warrant a special toy. A VERY SPECIFIC special toy. You’ve got an interesting taste in girls._

            **MH:** _Good for you though! I hope it works out._

 

            **L:** Thanks man. Really, you’re a life saver.

 

            **MH:** _Np. You know the fee though. ;D_

**L:** Haha yeah yeah, I’ll keep you posted.

 

~oOo~

 

            Lance’s fingers stilled on the keyboard when his phone buzzed again. Even though he knew that he _lived alone_ , and there was absolutely _no one_ around to see what was on the computer screen – a site with some _very_ detailed dildos on their homepage – he still felt like someone caught him at something he had no business dealing with. He brushed the feeling aside and grabbed his phone, unlocking it quickly so he could tell Matt he didn’t need any more suggestions on what he could feasibly stick up someone’s ass.

 **L:** I’ve got a good idea of what I’m looking for man, I don’t need any more of your weird kinky suggestions. Pleeeaaase, NO MORE.

 

            **K:** Lmao what? Did you not read my text?

 

            _Oh SHIT. KEITH._

 

            Lance smacked his laptop closed and threw his phone at the sofa, where it bounced twice before falling to the rug. He gripped his head in both hands, pulling frantically at his hair as he suffered through wave after wave of embarrassment in mute horror.

            His phone buzzed twice again before falling silent, thank god. When Lance managed to wrestle his heart rate back to a normal pace, he walked over to the phone and picked it up. He sat on the sofa, hugging a pillow to his chest and folding himself around it. The fluff bound inside its soft blue cover wasn’t much of a barrier, but hey, it’s the thought that counts with emotional placebos, right? Lance let another few minutes pass before opening the message thread with Keith. Turns out he had only been congratulating him on his “smooth presentation skills.” Lance grinned with pleasure; it wasn’t often that Keith willingly gave him a compliment on his work.

 

 **K:** You’re lucky it’s just me. Looking up that little dare item already? Someone’s eager

 **K:** Unless you were talking to someone about something else…?

  

 **L:** Just read it now. Thanks, I don’t know how I didn’t mess that presentation up. My heart was racing the whole time tbh.

 **L:** And sorry for the mix up, I thought you were Matt.

  

 **K:** You did great. And what were you talking to matt about?

 

 **L:** Butt plugs. Who else could I ask?

 

 **K:** …are you seriously talking about this to Matt because he’s the only gay person you know about?

 

 **L:** I’m talking to him because I KNOW he has experience with this sort of stuff. Don’t ask, I know more about his and Shiro’s love life than you’d be comfortable hearing about.

 

 **K:** Yeah don’t tell me. I’m good with not knowing.

 **K:** You didn’t tell him what it was for, right?

 

 **L:** Hell no.

 

 **K:** What DID you tell him?

 

 **L:** Just that I’m looking for a specific toy for someone. He pointed out a few sites to me, I’m looking at them now.

 

 **K:** Mind showing me?

 

 **L:** Wtf why that’s weirdly personal. Guys don’t just show other guys what sex toys they buy, Keith. I know you’re weird, but I thought even YOU would know that part of the Unwritten Dude Code.

 

**K:** Lance.

 **K:** You’re buying something that’s going to go IN MY ASS. I think there’s a clause that allows for you showing me what you’re gonna get in that “Dude Code”

 **K:** You weirdo.

 

 **L:** Not everything is about YOU, Keith. MAYBE IT’S FOR ME. What makes you think I’m not getting something for MY ASS? I just rocked a presentation, I could be in a treat-yo-self mood.

 

 **K:** …

 **K:** Do you want me to answer that?

 

 **L:** No. Forget I said it.

 

 **K:** Alright.

 **K:** But come on, you’re seriously not gonna show me?

 

 **L:** No, I’ve decided it’s going to be a surprise.

 

 **K:** Fine. Just don’t go too crazy.

 

 **L:** What’s that supposed to mean?

 

 **K:** It’s a vibrator that you’re going to be controlling, so that’s enough for me to handle at the social. Don’t go making it so huge I can’t even last five minutes with it in, got it?

 

 **L:** So, like… how big can you handle?

 

 **K:** Wouldn’t you like to know.

 

 **L:** I feel like it’s an important question!

 

 **K:** None of your business, that’s how big. Just …. don’t forget it’s for me, alright? Be considerate of my poor ass.

 

            Lance _definitely_ hadn’t forgotten it was for Keith.

 

 **L:** Your first time with something up there?

 

 **K:** Night Lance.

 

 **L:** Keith?

 **L:** Keith come on, this just got interesting!

 **L:** Night, mullet.

 

If Lance was too preoccupied by thinking of butt plugs in Keith’s ass to continue searching for one that evening, he’d never admit to it.

 

– V –

 


End file.
